The Train to Impossible Places by PG Bell, illustrated by Flavia Sorrentino

train to impossible places“Letting people choose their own leaders is wonderful in theory, but they keep making the wrong choices. Better to have someone in charge who knows what they’re doing, wouldn’t you say?”

Is The Train to Impossible Places a post-Trump children’s novel? What started, according to notes from the author at the back of the book, as a made-up-on-the-spot bedtime story for his child has surely picked up political acuity and cultural relevance as it was written down and came to find its place on publishers’ lists and bookshops’ shelves.

At the heart of this fantastic adventure story is a fight between two entities – one who’s just a mean bully with the magical powers to imprison people and commands a huge army of stone statues (who come to life to spy and fight), and the other who has an obsession with spying on everyone with the intention to glean all the information in the world, and thus take his place as the most powerful man on the planet, keen to use knowledge to manipulate and coerce.

The narrative starts with eleven-year-old Suzy, a child character whose adventures begin at night-time, and thus stays clothed in her pyjamas and dressing gown throughout (like Sophie in The BFG, or Tom in his midnight garden, the boy in The Snowman). Bell makes use of Suzy’s dressing gown though – the belt and pockets coming in very handy. She finds a troll building a railway line through her house for the Impossible Postal Express. Too late to un-remember what she’s seen, and far too curious, she leaps aboard the train and becomes the new postie under Wilmot, the troll Postmaster, bound for the Union of Impossible Places – a series of magical worlds.

Her first job is to deliver a cursed package to the rather terrifying sorceress, Lady Crepuscula, but things take a turn for the worse when she decides not to deliver the parcel quite as she should. And the consequences stretch far beyond just one undelivered package.

Suzy is a physics nut, which is useful (or useless depending on your perspective) in a place in which the usual rules of physics turn surprisingly on their head; the trolls introducing her to fuzzics instead. With clever reference to real scientific principles such as energy, velocity and speed, Suzy not only uses her science to save the day more than once, but also battles to comprehend the new fuzzics of the Impossible Places, where wormholes are normal and whole cities hang upside down.

Bell’s knack of plot propulsion, with many twists and turns, ups and downs, and multiple viewpoints, keeps the action fast and fresh in a whizzing adventure story. At the same time he introduces an undercurrent of scientific principles, a clear witty nod to the feminist movement with his introduction of womanly Ursel, (a brown bear who is yellow – she’s a blonde by choice – and has the job of keeping the Postal Express moving by fueling it with fusion bananas), and also an acknowledgement of age-old industries dying and with them both the job market and a population’s sense of purpose.

The Postal Express has been whittled down to just a lone Postmaster, what with the advent of new technologies, and the old manufacturing level at Troll city is in decline. With problems on the railways, including occasional disconnects, some late post and last minute delays, Bell gives a sharp precis of our changing world and diminishing trades.

There’s also a huge dose of British irony, with humour nicely planted throughout the book, and witty allusions to much culture and storytelling of the past – including the chapter heading ‘The Lion, the witch and the war zone’ – parents reading the story aloud will adore the many references, not least the underwater ghost pirates, Lady Crepuscular and her stone army, and many more. I kept jotting down little notes next to the text – Miss Haversham, Dr Who, Harry Potter, Men in Black….

The book is so much more than this though. With clearly defined characters all with motives for their actions, an understanding of the rhythm and flow of a good book, comic flair, and above all a top-notch fast-paced adventure plot, this is a phenomenal new novel.

The publishers thought so too – they have spared no expense. There’s a beautiful cover that sits underneath the dust jacket, and glorious black and white illustrations throughout by Flavia Sorrentino. I particularly appreciated her rendering of Trollville. (turn the book upside down).

Don’t miss this one – it’s a cracker. I’m going to read it again now – this time to a willing listener, and I’m ready for book two (as yet no publication date). You can buy it here.